Secrets and Secretaries
by Shatterdoll
Summary: Lovino declares he is willing to sell his soul to the devil for a job then soon finds himself as Antonio's secretary. Though it seems too good to be true it's not long before he realizes he might be working for the devil himself. Boss!AntonioxLovi, M
1. Chapter 1

Hey guys~ So I've read some of distantfridays' super sexy Spamano stories and it made me want to do one for myself. I'm sort of jumping into it so we'll see how it goes.

**Personal disclaimer**: I am not Catholic and I've never been a secretary so some of the details are probably not accurate in regards to that. Also, I'm making getting/maintaining a demanding job much easier than it is in real life in this story -laughs- Trust me, no one wants all the tedious details of real life and this is just a story to amuse myself.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Hetalia or its characters

* * *

"The word secretary is, after all, derived from ''secret.'' Secretaries are entrusted with vulnerabilities and flaws and idiosyncrasies, with the bad grammar, lousy spelling and petty evasions of their bosses (whether male or female). They are, by the nature of their work, subordinate, supportive and nurturing." - Joseph Finder

~.

There are some days when a guy is so down on his luck it makes him remember to beg the Gods of his youth for one goddamn break. It was such a day for Lovino Vargas. It had finally seemed like he had found a job that worked out for him. Sure it was as a clerk at some shady drug store and thus total shit but at least it had been _something_. God knew—maybe—that he needed the money badly. And then it had gotten all fucked up again.

There were many ways in which Lovino had screwed up in past employment that had warranted getting himself canned. Sometimes he messed up by flirting with the wrong employee, sometimes it was sleeping on the job, sometimes it was for not doing his job at all. But this time hadn't even been fair! It had been over something that wasn't his fault.

Some costumer had come in threatening him and he came out on the winning end when the guy went to punch him and he punched back. How was it his fault? Was he _supposed _to get a broken nose? No job was worth messing up his good looks, that was for sure. It just pissed him off. He tried to tell himself that eventually they would have caught him for stealing from the inventory. Then again, maybe not. Out of all the things he'd been fired for it had never been for theft; surprising considering he was pretty much a kleptomaniac.

Lovino sat on a grimy bench advertising the number for some Realtor wearing a shit eating grin plastered across it. It was cold and about to rain from the looks of things and he had forgotten to bring his stupid umbrella even though his brother had reminded him ten times that morning. Damn, he'd have to tell Feli about getting fired. Their next rent payment was going to be hard to make at this point. Feliciano only made so much money at that restaurant he worked at. It was hardly a five star chef position.

The worst part was his brother wouldn't even be mad_. _Somehow it would have made him feel better if he knew Feli would scream at him for being a useless bastard, hit him, _anything. _Instead he'd hug him and tell him that next time he'd find the right job, that they'd make the rent somehow. No doubt by borrowing from that stuffy bastard Roderich who always looked so fucking smug and superior whenever he lent them money. Just thinking about it put him in a bad mood.

It was all of this, slowly churning up inside of him, mixed with the first drop of cold rain that splashed against Lovino's forehead that finally turned his thoughts to God. He closed his eyes and breathed through his nose, replacing the smell of rain and exhaust fumes with that of incense. His memory gradually lead him back to the feel of his mother's rosary beads in his small hands, the kindly voice of an elderly priest that had listened to most of his confessions, the picture of the grand and dramatically beautiful church he had once attended on a weekly basis, now long abandoned by him.

He could gradually hear a foreign but beautiful sermon in Latin at a midnight mass superimposed onto a memory of the colors of painted glass splashed across his hands and lap on a summer morning. His lips soundlessly moved to an old prayer, still automatic after all these years. He discreetly crossed himself then brought his hands together in his lap. Even if he looked crazy no one would pay him any mind. Everyone was crazy here.

It wouldn't have mattered anyway, Lovino was so lost in his memory he could smell the mustiness of the church, could almost taste the richness of the wood of the uncomfortable pews. He took a deep breath, feeling oddly peaceful, then spoke softly, "God, I know I haven't been the most dedicated and that, well, we both know I haven't stepped foot in a church since I was sixteen and that my last confession was a little before that. But let's not dice details. Please, I'm begging you, help me find one stupid job that I can actually keep. If you do I...I promise I'll pray more often or something. I don't know, give me a sign?"

All of a sudden the sprinkle of rain turned into a downpour and Lovino opened his eyes to glare up at the sky. "Yeah well fuck you, too! At this point I'd sell my soul to the devil for a job, you hear that!"

An umbrella was suddenly tilted over his head, someone chuckling above him. He jerked and whirled around. A blond man gave him a most amused look, still tilting the umbrella so that it covered Lovino. "That was quite the moving plea. God, he can be quite fickle though. Perhaps the rain is a sign?"

Embarrassed that this guy, some Frenchie by the sound of his accent, had overheard his desperate words, Lovino flushed then prickled like an angry cat. "It's none of your business anyway! Move along, creep!"

The man simply laughed again and reached down to lightly touch his cheek, which Lovino quickly jerked away from. "Oh, then you are not interested in my job offer?"

Lovino's hazel eyes narrowed sharply. "Do I look like a goddamn prostitute? Fuck off, you bastard!"

"Oh, you are the feisty little one! I assure you, my proposal is hardly sexual for now. As of this moment I can offer you a job as a secretary at the company I work at."

"A sec- That's a woman's job! You want me to be your goddamn secretary?" Was this guy for real? Surely he was just trying to insult Lovino.

"Oh mon petit, don't be so harsh. First of all, you would not be _my _secretary. A shame, it is true, but I have my own lovely secretary already. It is in fact my colleague that is in need of one and he has insisted for a while now that he only have males fulfill the job description."

"My guess is that he's a pervert like you, right?" This just sounded too fishy for its own good.

"Non, he has his personal reasons. It is not a bad job. The wages are good. But it is quite a sudden proposal. I just thought if you are so desperate for it... I must really be going now. Here is my card." He pulled out a business card from his pocket and held it out for Lovino, who reluctantly took it. "There you are! I will leave you with that and my umbrella. If nothing else, return that to me when you have time. I shall be at my office until eight but sometime earlier would be best. If you act quickly the job may still be open as well. You will not even need a resume if he likes you enough."

"Doesn't have high standards, huh?" Lovino was pretty sure he could type at five words per minute.

He was answered with another one of those nasally laughs he already hated. The man's blue eyes seemed to shine. "Not at all, he's sort of whimsical that way. If he likes you he'll give you a chance, is all. Just remember one thing before you make your decision. I'm the devil's advocate, not God's."

The next thing Lovino knew the French bastard was pressing the umbrella into his hand then hurrying towards the curve, hailing a taxi and lucky enough to get one almost immediately. If Lovino had tried it would probably take twenty minutes. Then again that guy's suit had been really nice. Lovino appreciated good fashion on men and women alike even if he thought most men were obnoxious to actually have to deal with. That aside, he looked like he tipped well while Lovino decidedly did not (and he didn't).

Lovino adjusted the umbrella and looked down at the guy's card. It was printed on really nice cardboard or whatever the hell they made these things out of. Thick paper? It was a cream color and had a slight texture to it. Francis Bonnefoy, huh? Lovino's eyes widened a bit as he saw the name of the company. Even he knew that one. It was the one located in that giant black building that looked like it was an evil headquarters. Surely they could hire someone better than him?

Whatever, he would think about it for a while. Being a male secretary? Sounded sort of lame. Besides, he had to think over that cryptic bullshit about being the devil's advocate. What did that even mean, if anything? Probably he just thought it made him sound dangerous and cool, which it totally didn't.

Being in the downpour wasn't helping Lovino's mood any so he decided so long as he was fired he'd go get something to eat. Maybe having a full stomach would help him decide. Honestly he was tempted to just throw the card in the nearest trashcan and keep the umbrella, it was much nicer than his. He couldn't quite bring himself to do it. As much as he hated the idea of it he desperately needed a job and what could it hurt?

He'd asked for a sign and whether this one was from God or the devil, it was a little hard to ignore the timing.

~.

It was a little past four when Lovino found himself in the lobby of a company building that was too nice for him to ever have any business in. All the men wore sharp suits and ties, the women in black skirts and slacks with a severe look in their eyes to let the men know they were just as tough. Needless to say, Lovino couldn't have been more out of place with his scruffy pants and thin coat (his only one) thrown over a plain t-shirt.

Despite his usual attitude which he used as a defense system, Lovino was completely out of his element in this sophisticated, marbled palace of corruption. Or at least he figured it was probably corrupt. It was a company right? Still, it made him feel timid as all hell and he hated that. Stubborn pride was all that kept him from bolting right back out the front door.

Walking stiffly, he gradually found his way to the front desk, glad it was covered by a woman and not a man. It was easier to put on a confident smile. She returned it, only slightly put off by his attire. "Hello, sir. May I help you?"

"Yes, I have an umbrella with me, it belongs to a Francis Bonnefoy. He said I should return it to him?" Damn it, why did that last part come out sounding so uncertain? Relax, he had to keep his cool. The smile didn't waver.

The woman nodded a little curiously. "Right, just one moment please."

While she reached for the phone to probably confirm he wasn't some crazy guy, Lovino took discreet, deep breaths to calm his nerves. It was no big deal. He'd return the stupid umbrella and that would be that. There was no way he could get a job here. The guy who needed a secretary would take one look at him and laugh. Maybe he was a practical joke by that stupid Francis guy. The thought made his face burn with pre-conceived humiliation. If that was the case he'd like to see the bastard try to make a fool of him!

The woman was suddenly turning to him again, smile a little more confident now. "Mr. Bonnefoy says to go right up. Do you know where his office is?"

Lovino shook his head, still feeling flustered. He managed to say something half-way smooth and she explained how to get there. He thanked her and headed towards the elevators. Being scrunched in so close with all of those well-dressed bodies made Lovino feel claustrophobic. He was glad when it finally reached his floor. It took him a moment to get his bearings. It should be at the end of the hall on the right side. He walked forward uncertainly.

There was a desk where a very pretty blond woman sat, writing something down. Unlike many of the other women he'd seen her wavy hair was down around her shoulders, held back with a ribbon tied at the back of her neck, and when she looked up at him, her smile was friendly. "Hello, would you happen to be the mysterious umbrella boy?"

Despite the weird nickname Lovino felt immediately comfortable in her presence. He came closer, flashing his most charming smile. "Well, I do have an umbrella that I borrowed from a Francis Bonnefoy."

She chuckled. "That was what Mr. Bonnefoy referred to you as. He suddenly dashed off after hearing that you had arrived but I'm sure he'll be back in just a moment."

It _would_ be something that French bastard would call him. "Alright, well I don't mind waiting here with such a lovely lady."

"Oh my, aren't you the charmer?" She gave him a look that could be called flirtatious.

Lovino leaned over the desk a bit to close the distance between them. "I can be. So you're Bonnefoy's secretary?"

She nodded. "Yes, the one who keeps his world from spiraling off course, that would be me."

He laughed and leaned forward a bit more. "What's your name?"

Her bright green eyes seemed to light up playfully. "Alice. Alice Peeters. And you? Surely 'mysterious umbrella boy' is just a secret identity?"

Oh, Lovino did like Alice quite a lot. Not only was she pretty, she seemed playful. "Well it's not much of a secret identity if you know my real identity but I suppose I'll make an exception for you. Lovino Vargas."

Alice smiled at him. He was very cute. She hoped he didn't get the secretary job. Antonio would eat him alive.

~.

Francis smiled smugly, admiring Lovino's ass as he was bent over Alice's desk. "That would be him Antonio. Not a bad view at all, non?"

The two were far enough back that Alice couldn't see them but close enough that Francis could show off his discovery. Antonio smiled, more amused than anything. Still, he would be lying if he said he didn't enjoy the view as well.

"I am telling you Tonio, that is just the icing on the cake. Wait until you see his face. When I saw him today he looked just like an angel. He was praying and everything. My heart was deeply moved by his purity and beauty. Of course he ruined it a moment later when he actually spoke but he is quite pretty."

Antonio couldn't hold back his chuckle anymore. "Very good, amigo, but does anything qualify him for the job other than his looks?"

"Oh, come now mon ami, since when has raw ability ever won over looks?"

Something darker seemed to be painted across Antonio's smile. "Did you take Alice from me for her looks alone?"

There was a strained pause. It had been decidedly tense when Francis had convinced Alice to become his secretary rather than Antonio's. "Of course not, she is quite capable-"

"I know. If you hadn't noticed I still haven't found a replacement for her that can last longer than a month." Antonio looked hard at Francis, then his expression finally softened. "But that business is all in the past now. I just want someone that has what it takes to weather my... mood swings."

Francis patted Antonio's shoulder. "Oui, my temperamental friend, I understand your yearning. But this is a boy sent by God to the devil. You should give him a chance. If he doesn't have what it takes, who does?"

Antonio chuckled again. "You make me sound positively evil."

Francis raised an eyebrow, giving him a smile. "Can't you be?"

Antonio grinned, shrugged, looked at the ground for a moment. "Well then, let's meet this angel you've brought for me, Francisco."

~.

Alice noticed Francis and Antonio approaching and nodded her head to indicate their arrival to Lovino. He straightened up, determined to just give back the umbrella and get out of there. Francis beamed at him and immediately engulfed him under one arm. "How promptly you have come to return my umbrella, thank you! It shows good character!"

What the hell was he talking about? And that's when it hit Lovino that he was being looked at by the man who had come with Francis. No... not looked at. _Studied. _He could feel the man's green eyes trying to read him. How odd... they were so close to the color of Alice's eyes only darker. Was this the one who needed a secretary? Well... at least he wasn't some old guy.

In fact, much like Francis, he seemed young. Definitely older than Lovino but probably not by too many years. Certainly not decades. If anything it made him feel unaccomplished. He was some loser who couldn't keep a job at a drug store and this guy, with his olive skin and tousled hair resembling a model or something, was already some business...guy...thing. Whatever he did. Didn't matter, he probably made more money in a year than Romano would make in his lifetime. It made him resent him immediately.

Lovino suddenly became aware that Francis still had his arm around him and he 'accidentally' jabbed his elbow into his side as he brought the umbrella up. "Yeah, yeah. Thanks for letting me use it. I gotta get going now."

Francis looked surprised as the umbrella was thrust into his hands. "Eh? Already? But wait, you haven't even met-"

As Lovino wriggled from his grasp and turned to leave he found his path suddenly blocked by the other man, who was smiling in a friendly manner with his hand held out. "Antonio Carriedo. A pleasure to meet you."

After giving the hand an almost scathing appraisal Lovino took it briefly, letting go long before Antonio did. "Hm, sure. Well, I'll just be-"

"Your name? In greetings it's generally understood that both parties have to introduce themselves for it to be a proper meeting." He looked amused with himself and Lovino found it irritating.

"...Lovino Vargas. Listen, I really have to get going-"

"Lovino, wonderful! Does nine sound like a good time for you to come in tomorrow morning? I should have a little free time to brief you." Antonio was all but beaming at him.

What... What? Lovino stared at him stupidly for a moment. He hadn't been interviewed. He hadn't even told him anything other than his name. How was he getting a job offer? The guy was either desperate or really stupid. "I...I really don't think...I'm qualified." Why did those words taste so disgusting in his mouth? "Look I mean... I guess I appreciate it but I'm not cut out for-"

"Francis," Antonio's eyes slid over Lovino's head to his friend. "I thought you said he needed a job. This isn't the attitude of someone who needs a job to me. Oh well, not that it matters."

Lovino stiffened resentfully as Antonio returned his attention to him. "I'm really sorry that he went and bothered you this way. That is just how Francis can be. Thank you for coming in."

Antonio started to turn around and Lovino clenched his hands into fists. "I never said I didn't need the job! Look, I've never done secretarial duties but if you're alright with that then let me have it!"

The words seemed to infinitely please Antonio. "I never said I expected you to know, did I? So long as you can pick it up quickly then I'm fine taking you as you are. If you're really sure you want the job?"

Why did Antonio have to be so nonchalant about it? Probably because he didn't give a fuck either way. It was just a secretarial position and Lovino was sure he'd be replaced the second someone competent walked through the door. This hardly looked like a place for novices. Well fuck all of them, even if he was replaced he'd squeeze as much out of this job as he could get while the getting was good. "Nine thirty would be better."

Antonio's eyebrows arched up and he laughed. It held a genuine quality that was in no way mocking and that made Lovino like him just a minuscule fraction more. "Nine thirty it is. Be sure to dress a little nicer tomorrow. I look forward to working with you."

"Right, same to you." As if. Lovino paused to give Alice a smile dripping with sweetness. "I suppose I'll be seeing you again."

She smiled back but it was a little more controlled now. "It seems so! I will also be looking forward to working with you."

"It will be a pleasure." Lovino met Francis's eyes for a moment. He gave a general wave to the group as he muttered a final goodbye and hurried off. Mostly to hide the fact that his brain had finally comprehended he had a job and his heart was about to explode from the shock.

Francis frowned tartly after him. "How rude, I was the one who gave him this opportunity to begin with! But can I not read you Antonio? I knew you would hire him. You like the delicate broken doves."

Antonio snorted. "That sounds perverted somehow, Francisco. I did feel sorry for him, wearing clothes like that in this weather."

"I wouldn't feel too sorry for him, just look at that attitude. I bet you will be regretting your decision within a day."

Antonio crossed his arms. "Says the man who goaded me to hire him. Well, hopefully he isn't useless. I would hate to have to fire him. I don't mind training him up a bit. After all, I've been dealing without a secretary for a while now and Gil lives with a perpetual lack of one and still manages."

Francis clamped a hand on Antonio's shoulder. "Gilbert will never keep a secretary more than a day. He is far too insane. But it is still amusing to watch him try. But don't worry so much about Lovino. If nothing else you'll have some eye candy for a while."

Alice interjected gently, keeping her voice cheerful. "I thought he seemed very nice."

Antonio acknowledged her for the first time and his smile seemed less warm. "I am glad to have your approval."

Francis frowned a bit as Alice turned her gaze to her desk. "...Well, mon ami, I am glad that you will have someone working for you again. Now you can stop going out to get coffee as an excuse to disappear whenever you like."

Antonio warmed again and chuckled. "I hadn't thought of that. Truly a loss. Speaking of which, I might as well use the opportunity to do just that while I still have the chance. Thanks for steering Lovino in my direction. We'll see what the angel can do tomorrow."

As Antonio started to walk away he was aware of Francis murmuring soft words to Alice and picked up the pace. He took his time savoring an espresso with milk at the café across the street, watching the people that walked by. Lovino... He really was an attractive man. Though he wondered how old he was. He would have to ask tomorrow. Yes, he was already quite curious about Lovino.

Hopefully this one would last for a while. He was tired of going through people who couldn't handle him. That was why he had liked Alice, she could. Her reason for switching to Francis had been for completely different reasons.

Antonio fell into a daydream once his espresso was finished, waiting for the rain outside to clear up before he returned to work.

~.

When Lovino got home he spent an entire half hour pretending nothing of importance had occurred before he broke down, going through phases of excitement and apprehension. The place was intimidating as all hell, but some of the people seemed nice. He had no idea how to do the job or even what he was meant to do, but he would get some training at least. He didn't- Oh, who cared? He had a job! A good job, not some shit job stocking shelves or sweeping a stupid floor! Then again he didn't know how great it was but maybe he might actually make some decent money for once. Damn, he literally knew nothing about the job he had just accepted. Whatever, he had one!

But he had absolutely nothing to wear to it.

A minute later Lovino was desperately digging through the closet he shared with Feliciano. Actually they shared everything in their one room apartment. The closet, the bed, the double drawers with his things on the right and Feli's on the left, everything in the small kitchen tucked into one corner of the room, as well as the limited supplies in their cramped bathroom. They also shared an abundant lack of anything worth wearing to a fancy job. The closest he could find was an old pair of slacks he hadn't worn in a while and one of Feli's white work shirts.

That would have to do. Lovino put them aside and waited restlessly for his brother to come home. It would be a while. Feliciano had long shifts for not the best pay but it was still better than most of the jobs he'd ever had. Not to mention it might help him get a job cooking somewhere actually decent someday. God knew he was good enough.

Just as predicted Feliciano came in late. He rubbed his eyes and smiled tiredly at his brother, who was pretending to read something and not to be waiting for him to arrive. "Hi Lovi! How was your day?"

"Hmph, so so. I forgot my stupid umbrella." He put the cookbook down. Cookbooks were pretty much the only things that constituted as reading material in their apartment.

Feliciano laughed softly as he pulled his shoes off. "I reminded you. Tomorrow I'll put it next to the door if you want me to."

"Nah, don't worry about it. You're late again. Does that fascist you work for want to kill you? Tell him he can't work you so long unless he's going to be giving you overtime, which he never does." It pissed him off the way Feli let people order him around so long as it kept the peace. Granted Lovino usually did the same thing but he had learned to be an asshole about it and sometimes that deterred people.

"Ve... I know Lovi, but see, one of the others called in because her son was sick and unless I picked up some of her shift then he wouldn't have let her take the time off."

Lovino rolled his eyes as his brother took off his jacket. It was only a bit thicker than Lovino's. "The brat probably would have lived. I bet it was nothing worse than a mild cold. You're such a bleeding heart, letting people take advantage of you."

Feliciano fell into silence. He had learned it was his best defense against Lovi. It stretched out for a few minutes and Feliciano went into the bathroom to take a quick shower. As he came out Lovino cleared his throat. "Oh, I guess one other thing kinda happened today. I got a new job. As a secretary at some business company or whatever for some business guy."

Feliciano stared at his brother's carefully composed expression of indifference. "Eh? Really?"

"Y-yeah, kinda sounds dumb right? Secretary. But it'll probably pay alright. And I had just... quit my other job because I wasn't going to put up with their shit anymore and this guy randomly offered it to me and I sort of took it. Yeah." That was good enough of a synopsis. And who cared if some of the details were a bit fudged.

"Oh... Lovi... That's great! That's so great!" Feliciano hurried over and hugged him tightly.

"It's not that big of a deal. I'm a secretary, that just sounds stupid. I don't even know what I'm doing anyway."

"No! No it's really great! I'm so happy for you! Didn't I tell you things would get better? You're going to do so good, I just know it! I'll make a special dinner tonight! Pasta with extra tomatoes. Sound good?" Feliciano backed away to look at him, eyes sparkling with excitement.

"Sure, sounds good. Might as well use all the tomatoes that are left."

"Right!" Feliciano bounced up and down, hurrying to go start pulling things out. He asked questions as he started to cook, to which Lovino gave vague answers. He hardly knew the answers to most of them himself at that point.

Still, it was undoubtedly one of his favorite things about Feliciano. His ability to be so excited for Lovino when his own pride prevented him from it. In a way it let him express his emotions vicariously through his brother. The feeling of excitement was definitely infectious and by the time they were eating it had overwhelmed Lovino's apprehension. Just maybe God had been listening after all.

Francis's comment about being the devil's advocate had completely fled his memory.

* * *

**AN: **Alice Peeters is Belgium.

I'd also just like to say, in regards to the recent disaster in Japan, I hope for the best to everyone who is over there. Stay strong.


	2. Chapter 2

Hello, all~ I would just like to reiterate that this story is not meant to be realistic to real life (which has made it impossible to do anything without getting in trouble for it). Although, thanks to my friend who gave me a better idea of secretarial duties. It was really helpful!

* * *

If there was one thing Lovino was a master at, it was running late. He repeated the word 'fuck' about a thousand times, spiced up with the occasional 'damn it' for flavor, as he pushed through the crowded sidewalk. Nine thirty, what had he been thinking? He should have said ten at least! There was no way he was going to make it, no way!

As he reached the evil looking head quarters that was now his place of employment he was badly out of breath, a horrible stitch in his side. And he'd forgotten his stupid umbrella again. Just great. He wheezed and held his side as he got into an elevator, the other inhabitants giving him as wide a berth as was possible in the cramped space. He was quite a sight, and not just because of his frazzled breathlessness. The white shirt he'd picked out was crumpled and the slacks hung oddly on his hips. The last time he'd worn them he hadn't been as skinny. Being poor sucked.

Lovino stumbled the opposite way he'd gone last time until he found Antonio's name on a plaque, the desk sitting outside the office looking completely abandoned. He took a brief moment to take off his coat, tug at his shirt, brush his fingers through his hair, and catch his breath. Then he knocked.

There was a cheery, "Come in!"

Lovino entered the room ready to spout out some excuse but saw that Antonio was on the phone. He closed the door quietly behind him and waited, catching his breath some more. Damn his heart was pounding.

Antonio gestured for Lovino to take a seat in the chair in front of his desk as he continued to speak business jargon into the phone. He gratefully walked over and collapsed into it. His eyes roamed over Antonio's desk. It was a mess, but the kind that obviously has some sort of method to it only the creator understood.

Lovino's fingers twitched as he noticed the nice pens that were laid out. Pens were his favorite thing to take. Especially the clicking kind, he was a sucker for those. Beneath the bed he shared with Feli was a whole box of them, tossed in with an assortment of other things. He only allowed himself to keep the stuff he really liked. Otherwise he forced himself to discreetly bring it back or dump it somewhere. There wasn't enough room in their shitty apartment for everything he took because while they tended to be small things, they always piled up rather quickly.

The next item that really caught Lovino's attention was a perfectly round glass paperweight that had a design like a miniature stain glass window in the general shape of a cross. It was beautiful. He forced himself to sit on his hand even as his eyes ran over it covetingly.

The pressure building up in Lovino was alleviated as Antonio finally hung up. "Well, Lovino, you were ten minutes late. I suppose it's alright this time. It allowed me to take care of an unexpected phone call with an important client. Next time, however, if I ask you to be here at certain time, please be here. The hours are flexible but this place really works like an ecosystem. Everyone has to do their part to keep it in balance."

Lovino nodded, not particularly taking it to heart. "Right, understood."

Antonio smiled warmly and held out a small packet of papers. "Good. Now, how about we go over the basics, shall we? I wrote up a list of tasks and expectations for you. I will be more understanding if you're slower in the beginning and have a lot of questions but I have to see real improvement to keep you on board here."

Lovino flipped through the pages. Looked like a lot of busy work to him. That sort of sucked. "Mmhm."

"Right. So look over that carefully and please, come to me with any and all questions or leave a note on my keyboard if I'm not around. I want to help you succeed here, alright? Now, I'm sure before you even look over that you must have some basic questions for me. It was all a bit rushed yesterday, wasn't it?"

"Uhh... yeah." Lovino had tons of questions but they flew right out of his head the second Antonio asked. "What sort of hours can I expect to be working? Also, what am I getting paid?"

Maybe that made him sound like a selfish prick but he was and those were what really mattered in the end. He wasn't going to kiss ass and ask useless questions just to sound like he gave a real damn.

The questions didn't seem to faze Antonio much. "Mm, good questions! Expect to work around thirty seven hours a week, though it might be a little longer during hectic weeks. I end up staying late frequently. As for wage..."

Antonio scribbled down a number and passed it over to Lovino. He didn't like discussing wages out loud. Lovino took the slip of paper and opened it up, annoyed that he didn't just say it. For a moment he stared at the number. "...Is this what I'm being paid an hour?"

"It is quite sufficient for you, I hope?" Antonio liked this kid so far but if he griped about the wage he might drop him pretty quick. It annoyed him more than most things when people did that.

But Lovino was far from disappointed. This was the most he'd be earning per hour in his whole life. Even for him it was hard to hide the shine of excitement. "Yeah it is! Wow..."

The reaction was oddly humble and cute, thus taking Antonio off guard. He was thrown for a loop and then his expression softened. "Good, I'm glad. I also have some paperwork for you to fill out, as well as information about benefits, etc. but those can be taken care of later. You'll want to bring in your social security card tomorrow. Do you mind if I ask you a few questions now?"

Lovino, still high off the discovery of his new wage, was feeling indulgent. "Sure."

"How old are you?"

Was that even a normal question? It didn't really matter, but people often mistook him to be younger than he was and that pissed him off. In fact some people thought he was actually Feliciano's twin! Oh that sent him into a rage. "I'm twenty three."

It was definitely a little older than Antonio had been expecting. "What is your past work experience?"

Lovino sure hoped that he didn't ask for any referrals to speak for him. It usually meant getting Feli and that bastard Roderich to pretend they were past employers. Half the time one of them fucked it up. "I've done a variety of things. Been in food and retail mostly."

"Do you have any experience with computers?"

How much to lie on this one? "...A little bit."

Antonio sat back in his chair. Lovino seemed to be pretty good at dancing around questions. Usually he would press for hard answers but in this case, as unprofessional as it was, he wanted to be somewhat surprised by what he found in the other. "You'll have to brush up on the programs that we use here. It would also be preferable if you can type somewhere between sixty to eighty five words per minute. Do you have a computer at home so that you can potentially put in extra time for practice if you need it?"

No. "Yes." The public library was pretty much the same thing right?

"Good, good. For some of the special programs you can come in early or stay late to practice with here. Are you married?"

Seriously, what was up with these weird questions? Lovino set his hands flat on the desk on the limited space that was available. "Do you see a ring?"

"Mm. I suppose that's a good thing, the way you were flirting with Miss Peeters yesterday." Antonio chuckled but seemed to pin down Lovino with a look.

"Er, yeah. I'm single, unfortunately. Been a little too busy," and poor, "to maintain a relationship lately. And I was just being friendly." He knew most companies didn't even want to suspect that there were employee relationships or flirtations going on.

Antonio's eyes brightened a bit. "I see. Well that's a shame. I'm sure you'll find someone. I think I only have one more question for now. Is that the nicest outfit you own?"

A wave of embarrassment traveled through Lovino. It's not like he didn't know this outfit sucked but did it have to be pointed out? "Pretty much. Not everyone has suits, you know."

"Hmm... That's fine for today, I suppose. For now I'd just like you to go out and sit at the desk, try to familiarize yourself with the work space and look over those tasks I gave you. I'll be going to a meeting at noon but let me know if you have questions before that. Feel free to take a lunch break sometime around one." Antonio did have some other questions but he wanted to wait and see what the background check he'd put through came up with first.

"Mm, right." Lovino's eyes caressed the paperweight one last time before he stood and left the office. So far everything seemed to be going smoothly enough. He walked over to the desk and sat down. A desk... he had his own desk. Weird.

Lovino looked through all the drawers. The first was equipped with paper, pencils, pens (he'd probably end up taking them home one by one until they were gone), paper clips, post it notes, general crap like that. The other two were empty and he'd probably end up filling them with things he'd taken later. On top of the desk was a computer, a newer fancy kind, and a phone with perhaps a million buttons. Next to it was a paper. He picked it up curiously.

Across the top it said 'Things I wish I had known my first day – Alice' with a small smiley face drawn next to the words. Beneath that were some basic tips like how to answer the phone correctly, the most important buttons, how to respond to callers or clients depending on how important they were, which copiers and printers to avoid, where the petty cash fund was, things of that nature. A smile came to his face. He really liked Alice.

Once he'd looked over that a few times he read over what Antonio had given him and felt overwhelmed. Apparently he was expected to memorize a phone book worth of names, phone numbers, fax numbers, not to mention Antonio's entire schedule. Apparently it was his duty to eventually make appointments for him. Preparing documents, typing things up... He groaned under his breath and put it aside, turning his computer on. For almost an hour he just played with that, looking at some of the programs he was expected to know and becoming immediately frustrated. He really didn't know how to use a computer. Not to mention his typing speed was probably five words per minute. His frustration was broken by the phone ringing.

Lovino swallowed hard and took a quick look at Alice's guide before answering the phone and speaking as clearly as he could. "Hello. This is the office of Antonio Carriedo, Lovino speaking. How may I help you?" That actually sounded alright.

"Oh, you said that so well! I like how you say my name." It was just that bastard Antonio.

Holding the phone away from his mouth to sigh, Lovino brought it back again. "...Thanks. Can I do something for you?"

"Ah, you could say it a little friendlier than that! I have a task for you and it's very important. I need you to go across the street for me and get me an espresso with milk. Be sure to get it in the 6 oz cup, alright?"

"...Sure." Great, his first 'important task' was doing a coffee run.

"Thanks, Lovino! You're a life saver." With that he hung up.

Lovino grumbled as he threw his tacky coat over his tacky outfit. At least he wasn't asking him to do something hard. It was raining outside and he was doubly irritated as he crossed the street, ducking into the coffee shop. Lovino was not a coffee drinker—too expensive—so he was glad Antonio had been specific. He made his order and decided he hated the snobby barista that served him.

Lovino shielded it under his coat as he walked back across the street. After dripping all the way back to his desk he threw his coat over his chair and knocked on Antonio's door.

"Come in!"

Lovino did so, feeling like he shouldn't have to knock at all. Antonio glanced away from his computer and smiled at him. "Got it? Thanks!"

"Sure." It was in his nature to make sure that people knew any work he did was done so unwillingly no matter the circumstances.

As Lovino walked over to the desk to hand him the coffee Antonio noted the rain drops that still adorned his hair and dampened his cheeks. It gave him the urge to wipe at his face. "If it's raining next time I ask you to get me coffee and you've forgotten your umbrella, be sure to borrow mine. I wouldn't want you to catch cold."

"Hmph, fine." Would it have killed the bastard to remember that before he sent him out into the freezing rain?

Antonio sipped the espresso cautiously and nodded once in approval. "Any questions so far?"

"Not really." More like a thousand, but he'd try finding Alice and asking her things instead. It was a good excuse to talk to her.

"Well then, you must be better at this than you thought. Thanks again." Lovino gave him a curt nod and turned to leave. Antonio studied his back, the ill-fitting pants and crumpled shirt. Something absolutely had to be done about that.

~.

Lovino was contemplating leaving for lunch. Antonio hadn't returned from his meeting and he felt like he'd figured out all he could on his own. The choice was decided upon when Alice made her way over to his desk, giving him a friendly smile. He was a bit disappointed to see she was wearing slacks instead of a skirt but he could still tell she had killer legs. "Hi, Lovino! I've just started my lunch break. Are you free to join me?"

"Of course, I was just about to leave." This was perfect, it must be a sign.

"Great! There's a great deli near here if you're interested?"

"Sounds perfect." Not that he really had any money but... Well it would depend on how much everything cost. Lovino stood and moved around the desk, momentarily taken aback. Alice was taller than he had expected. About an inch taller than him. Not that he minded taller ladies.

She tilted her head. "Do you have an umbrella?"

"Er..." His eyes traveled in the direction of Antonio's office.

When Alice saw this she was hasty to say, "If not don't worry about it. We can share mine."

Lovino was glad he hadn't said anything. Sharing an umbrella meant close proximities. "Sounds like a plan. I have the worst memory for bringing an umbrella."

Alice giggled as they headed towards the elevator. "When I was really little I used to pretend I had forgotten mine just because I liked to play in the rain. You know, splash in all the puddles, stomp through the mud. My big brother always got so irritated at me." She sighed and her expression became momentarily troubled. She quickly smiled again. "Anyway, I think the rain is sort of fun. Snow is even more fun."

Lovino didn't like rain or snow much at all. He liked the heat. There was something almost gratifying about days so hot it wasn't worth wearing clothes or doing anything but napping on top of overly warm bedding, a damp cloth pressed to the back of the neck. "I think so, too."

"Oh! Do you like to ski?"

Lovino had a moment to think it over as they stepped inside of the elevator. He had never done it. They were silent as they traveled down. As the doors opened at the first floor and they stepped out he finally decided to play it on the safe side. "Actually I've never had the opportunity. Do you?"

"Oh yes! I love to ski. I do it every winter. I've done it since I was old enough to wear them. You really must try it sometime, it's quite fun."

Lovino loved the way she lit up when she was excited. "I'll have to if you recommend it so highly."

The moment they were out the front door Alice popped the umbrella open and they stepped out into the rain. "So, how has your first day been so far?"

"Not too bad. I was expecting something more hectic to be honest." A lotmore hectic. Then again he was only pulling from movies he'd seen.

"Oh trust me, it'll get harder. Right now Mr. Carriedo isn't working you as hard as he will later. My guess is that all phone calls are still directed towards his office phone and he's just letting you adjust. Make sure you don't get lulled into thinking it's all that easy. That's where most of the others who have been hired as his secretary got caught up. They didn't last long after the switch. Mr. Carriedo will be easy on you for however long he feels like it and then... Hell mode. You'll wish you were dead some days. I cried the first time he did it to me. I thought I had done something to make him hate me but then the next day he was friendly again and even apologized. It's not like it's personal and I got used to it after a while. So, a friendly warning. Learn your job as quickly as possible so that you'll be at least partially prepared when it hits."

That made his job sound a thousand times more terrifying. "...Oh."

"I'm sorry if I scared you, that's not my intent. You just seem so nice I don't want it to hit you from left field. Some of the others, like Mr. Bielschmidt, think it's funny and come to watch. It's cruel and childish. Like Romans watching men fighting lions. Mr. Cerriedo himself doesn't do it as a game. It's just sort of...his personality. You'll know pretty soon if you can handle it. If not you'll be gone pretty fast."

A thousand? Make that a million. "Sounds... fun."

Alice turned her head a bit to glance at him then smiled. "I hope you make it, Lovino."

Well... maybe it would be worth giving a try. "We'll see. I'm not sure though, I don't actually know how to use any of the programs."

"Mm, I didn't either when I was first hired. I took home the manuals, read them, then came to work early and stayed late. It seems like a pain but it's really worth the effort. Saves a lot of tears. Oh, especially learning how to work the copier. I know where the manuals are if you want to look at them." They reached the small deli, the smell of fresh bread, meat, and cheeses wafting in the air as they stepped inside.

"I think I would be eternally grateful if you told me where to find them." He'd learn how to half-ass use them and go from there.

As they approached the counter to get in line to order, Lovino was relieved to see that there were some reasonably priced things on the menu. He quickly searched out the cheapest thing he was willing to eat, which was a small bowl of tomato soup. The two placed an order, waiting in an awkward sort of limbo with one another as they smiled and waited. Once they had their food they located a small table towards the back of the deli.

Alice looked at Lovino's bowl of soup curiously. She had gotten a sandwich that was plenty stacked up with things that would fill her up. She hoped Lovino wasn't going to go hungry. Once they were getting closer to finishing, she spoke again. "There are a few other things I guess I should prepare you for. First of all, our company is often in competition with the Tulipheart Company."

"Wait," Lovino interrupted her. "That's seriously their company name? It's so dumb! Tulipheart?"

"Well, our name is based on a flower, too." Alice shrugged.

Lovino frowned slightly. "Incarnation Co.?"

Alice pulled a pen out of her purse then took a napkin and wrote something. She pushed it towards Lovino. It was the company name written 'In-Carnation.' "That's how our company name is actually spelled out. Didn't you realize? I've heard that the original founder's wife loved carnations. Isn't that sweet?"

It was dumb. Both companies had stupid names. "...Very. Alright, so what about this tulip company?"

"Right. Well, we're often in competition with them but sometimes we have to work together. It makes things very stressful. There are two people you will have to watch out for who are Mr. Carriedo's greatest," Alice paused, groping for the right word. "Rivals I suppose you could say. Neither of them are fond of Mr. Carriedo and try to make things difficult for him. Luckily, they also hate each other so sometimes they trip each other up."

"These people work for the same company? Shouldn't they work together if they don't like him?" It made sense to him. Though he wasn't liking the sound of 'rivals.'

Alice looked slightly frazzled. "Ah, it's... well, it's a long story on why they don't like each other. Something about getting the title of the tulip king and... I'll tell it to you another time."

Lovino wasn't sure he wanted to hear about it, ever. "Okay."

"The first person you'll have to worry about is Sadik Adnan. He's charismatic and has good taste in things which makes him popular with a lot of clients. He's also very competitive. His favorite thing is to steal sales and clients away from Mr. Carriedo. Thankfully you'll mostly be dealing with his secretary, Kiku Honda. He's a very reasonable man and you shouldn't actually have too many problems with him."

It made Lovino feel a little better that he wasn't the only male secretary out there. "Thieving bastard. Got it. So who's the other person?"

Alice suddenly looked very uncomfortable. "Um... A-Abel Peeters. My big brother." She ducked her head. "If you don't mind I'd rather not talk about... All you really need to know is that he and Antonio went to business school together and my brother truly hates him. His secretary is whatever young intern he can get his hands on."

That must be very awkward, working for the competing company her sibling worked at. He wanted to ask her more about it but it clearly upset her so he let it drop. "Thanks for warning me. I really appreciate all of your help. It's nice to have someone looking out for me."

Alice brightened again after a moment. "Not at all. It's hard out there, isn't it? We all need someone to look out for us."

Lovino found he liked her even more. He tried to say something but didn't know how to express what he felt. Maybe if he took her hand... He didn't move a muscle. The moment passed and he merely nodded.

Alice looked at her watch. "I have to get back soon. We should do this again. I can tell you all about the legendary F.A.G. Trio!" She blanched. "I- I mean- Not that I mean... More like a cigarette or..."

When it was clear that the expression on Lovino's face was one of confusion and not one of offense she seemed to relax. "Sorry. I need to be more careful about saying that without explaining it properly. It's just a silly reference to Francis, Antonio, and Gilbert. I can't remember who even started it. Mr. Bonnefoy or Mr. Bieldschmidt for sure. Definitely not work safe but I think you'll find that trio bends the rules of what's work appropriate."

It was official. Lovino was working for freaks in a total circus. Hopefully he would be overlooked in all the chaos. "I see."

Alice stood, shrugging back into her coat. "Shall we get going, then?"

Lovino hurried to his feet. "Yeah, of course."

This conversation had definitely given Lovino a lot to think about and they were more quiet on the way back to work. The rain had let up a bit but Alice dutifully kept the umbrella up. She really couldn't help but worry about Lovino. He seemed tough. Maybe he would be alright.

They parted ways in the hall and went to their separate desks. There was a message waiting on Lovino's phone and after a few very irritating minutes he got it to play.

"Hello, Lovino! It's Antonio. Can you see me once you get back from lunch? At least I heard it was lunch. Fransisco said you went with- Well, that's not important. Just come in to talk to me! Thanks."

Lovino sighed loudly and hung the phone up. Once again he went through the tedious process of knocking on the door and was given permission to enter.

Antonio gestured for him to sit again with that same friendly smile of his. Lovino felt annoyed at him for no particular reason as he slumped into the seat. "What can I do for you?"

"So, how was lunch?"

"Not bad. I had tomato soup."

"You like tomatoes?"

"Love them." It was said with such a straight face, so very seriously, that Antonio couldn't help but chuckle.

"I see. And you went with Miss Peeters?" He sounded a little less amused all of a sudden.

"Yes. She's been very helpful." Lovino didn't know what else to say. Was he going to have to put up with small talk all the time? It could be worse, he decided.

"I told you that you could ask me about any questions you had." Now Antonio was closer to pouting.

"It was more that she was giving me advice." And warning him what kind of freaks he'd have to deal with from now on. Where was this all going, anyway? "You wanted to see me about something?"

Antonio let out a small huff then smiled again. "I'm glad she's been so... friendly. I actually wanted to talk to you about your wardrobe."

Oh, this again. Lovino felt himself flush and bristled. "What about it? I know it's limited. I can't really do anything about it."

"I understand that. I'm not trying to insult you and you don't need to feel defensive about it. The way you dress is important in a place like this. You reflect on the company and you reflect on me. As you don't currently have the funds to take care of this I'm going to give you some money to buy clothes strictly for the workplace. Now, I want you to understand what I am doing for you. This is a personal investment of my money to help you. I trust you and believe you are going to do your best to become a part of this family long term. I can trust you by making this decision, can't I?"

Lovino was utterly speechless. He was getting money? Personal money from Antonio to buy new clothes? That was... well damn. Was this guy that much of an idiot? He found his face burning with a fresh flush of heat and quickly looked away. "Yeah, I mean... You really don't have to do this."

"I know that, but I want to! This is unorthodox and I would like you to keep it to yourself if you don't mind." Antonio pulled out an envelope and handed it over to Lovino. "Make sure to note how much you spend on each thing so I have a record of how you spent the money. I want price tags, too. Tomorrow I want you looking sharp as a tack!"

Lovino resisted the urge to tell him that wasn't what that expression meant at all. Opening the envelope, Lovino knew that Antonio wasn't 'sharp as a tack' in more ways than one. Seriously, he was giving him cash? There was no way to track how he actually spent it. The amount given was hardly something to sneeze at. He could run off with the whole amount or lie about the prices of things by stealing price tags and buying cheaper stuff- He glanced up and looked straight into Antonio's face.

Goddamn, Antonio really had the face of someone it would be almost physically painful to lie to. Looking all stupid and trusting. Wasn't he supposed to be a soul sucking... company... guy thing? It wasn't fair for him to look that way.

Lovino muttered something to himself then cleared his throat. "So, suits?"

"Dress shirts and pants, at least one tie, and if you would like, a pair of formal shoes and some suit jackets. You are responsible for how you spend the money, so how much you get depends on how well you conserve it." Antonio was pleased he was accepting. Lovino would look good properly dressed up in a suit.

Lovino hesitated. "Can I buy a coat?"

"Of course! One warm coat is fine." He really did need one.

One coat, huh? Lovino bit his lower lip. This was when he was supposed to express gratitude. Damn it. "Uh... Thanks and all, I guess."

It was hardly the most heartfelt thanks Antonio had received, but the fact that Lovino was obviously so awkward about it made it oddly endearing. It seemed that was what he was going to start pegging Lovino as; oddly endearing. "Of course. Like I said, I want to keep you around."

Lovino cleared his throat. He really didn't know how to handle this. Everything had been such shit for him the past few years and all of a sudden... He finally nodded. "Sure."

Antonio checked the time. "Well, unless you have any other questions how about you leave a little early today and go take care of getting those clothes?"

"Alright. I don't think I have any questions right now." He was too disoriented by all this to have questions that weren't along the lines of 'Why are you so insane?'

"Great. Then you do that. Try to think up some questions for me. You're making me lonely. Oh, and for tomorrow do you mind coming in at nine?"

As in nine a.m.? Yes. "Yes."

Antonio laughed. "You really are something else! I like it. I will see you at nine, please."

Lovino sighed heavily and clutched the envelope. It wasn't like he had a choice anymore. "Fine." He got up and walked towards the door. He turned back before he left. "Bye, Antonio."

There was a flash of surprise that passed across Antonio's face. Lovino couldn't think of why until it occurred to him that Alice referred to all of them as 'Mr' and he had just used his first name casually. Should he have not done that? And then all of a sudden Antonio's expression brightened and Lovino had the sinking feeling he would be expected to continue with this more casual approach. "Yes, have a good day, Lovino. See you tomorrow, bright and early!"

Just barely restraining his urge to snort, Lovino closed the door behind him and grabbed his coat. His heart had started to pound again. When was the last time he had gone clothes shopping? When was the last time he had gone shopping for clothes that weren't pre-worn?

Lovino stopped by Alice's desk to say goodbye but she was gone. He touched the envelop that was now carefully tucked into his pocket. He would see her tomorrow. And when he did, he was going to look damn good.

* * *

**AN: **I came up with the two company names using a business name generator online (though I did ask it to incorporate the words tulip and carnation).

Abel is the Netherlands and Sadik is Turkey.

I want someone to just give me money for clothes -laughs-


End file.
